Young, Perplexed and Loving from a Distance

Long Distance Series

Volume I: Introduction

My boyfriend and I have had less of a Hallmark romance and more a cross-cultural version of the Leonardo DiCaprio rendition of ‘Romeo & Juliet’. The difference being our families weren’t feuding but rather our explosion of egos had us both giving the other space to commit ‘relationship suicide’. Fast forward to the present day, we find ourselves the closest we’ve ever been, the most open & vulnerable and IN A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP!

***insert theatrical gasp***

Photo by Monnivhoir Aymar Kouamé on

Moment of admiration and quick shout out to the couples that decide to work on their relationship regardless of distance; it’s hard, it’s challenging and for me, it has been a face-to-face battle with my own demons and insecurities which I had previously drowned in the easily accessible remedies which included sex, more sex, and a lot more sex. Which as you might expect, only served as a bandaid to the deeper issues that created cracks in our foundation.

Living in different time zones has forced us to work on our intimacy. With miles between us, annoyed or not at each other, all we have most of the time are our conversations. Hard truths had to be told and past mistakes forgiven on both ends. There’s a sense of accomplishment felt, however, when you gain the ability to sense frustration from your person’s “hello”. A deeper connection & closeness forms when you can detect concern even from a slightly altered look. I have learned more about my boyfriend in the last year than I have in our entire time knowing each other. Granted we had to both live without each other and independently come to the conclusion that doing the hard work to grow together is worth more than living life physically apart with our hearts still searching for “home”. I never thought I would say this but distance saved us, distance made us stronger and distance is helping us discover our own #relationshipgoals. (You have no idea the deep breaths I took putting that on paper and knowing eventually I will have to press “publish” and make this declaration “public” ).

Photo by cottonbro on

Long-distance is a challenge I would never sign up for unless I was as in love as I find myself today. However, I truly believe that only the couples that are dedicated to the betterment of their individual growth should enter into a union that requires this level of trust &commitment, I personally never knew I could exhibit. To find the strength to withstand the physical longing, the stabbing in your heart from craving the other’s energy and understanding that many moments will be missed until the day the distance disappears and all the hard work on building a solid foundation pays off.

Am I afraid, sure.
Am I self-sabotaging – sometimes.
However, the love shared is worth more than any non-progressive unknown my creative mind could ever come up with. I guard my king with love and I protect my heart with peace because I speak life into our union. Not one without problems, but one that can overcome all that may come. As a creative, I grant you access to parts of our joy, as we live through the days and countdown to our shared address.

Welcome to our crazy love!!!


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